Being Depressed & Being Sarcastic

So I came up with this post in Facebook:  10 Things People Batteling With Depression are Tired of Hearing

Of course I'm tired too.. but today I just wanted to try a different version of response so that i could share how i feel, how i try to stay positive even after this depressive depression & how i keep fighting! So here it goes,it said:

1) "It's all in your head" : Its all in my head coz I love over thinking & all negative! Its such an amazing feeling! May be god loves me so much that he send me all these negative message in my head to think of how negative this world is Or how negative i have become Or how important it is for me to feel positive and feel better.

2)"Snap Out of it": If snapping and getting out of this was that easy I would snap all day! ......

3)"Just Try Harder" : Well to fight every day "to live or not?" is definitely not easy. To have suicidal thoughts, feel nothing and yet choose to live even after knowing that i'm gonna feel guilty especially when people wont understand & that I have such thoughts and I can't help getting rid of it, while also knowing that people who love me will be shattered to know how i feel and yet i have to share this with them because i'm scared that this situation will overpower me and i will do something wrong that i should not! if that is easy for you then it is hard for me!

4) "Just pray about it": Let me share you a story here:: When I was a kid, I had this dream to be the good person that we see in TV or read about, who sacrifices him/her for others or do so much for others so I always got confused what to pray or wish to god so that i'll be that good person who would pray good for everyone so I made up this line, "Make everyone Happy", "Make everyone's wish come true" When we used to go temples it was like automatic in my mind even though sometimes i wished to wish something for myself i would say that. Later when i grew up & my life started feeling chaotic & I started feeling bad about this selfish world where i realized people could use me & did felt used so many times, but then I still wanted to be a better person & keep on praying good wish for everyone & i knew he would listen to me so i said "I might wish something bad when i loose my mind because of this selfish world. Don't listen to me at that point & not everyone wishes good for everyone so don't make everyone's wish come true either & please listen to people who needs you more than me! I'm your special child and i know you wont put me in trouble.. But then I am close to him you know he does listen to me when i have wished bad and i felt bad and he may be started ignoring me too or may be He has been so busy taking care of others that he now has forgotten me may be or the list of others are so long that its gonna take like forever for him to get to me or can't deny the fact that there are more other people who needs him more than i do so he is just trying to fulfill that old wish which has just not allowed my other wish to come true, which is to feel better.

5. "You're just being dramatic": Sure I love the attention & enjoy that awkwardness when people come up with questions like " Whats wrong with you?, What happened? Why are you acting this way? "You just acted so well" I love this you know.

6."Stop being lazy": You have no idea, How fun it is to be lazy, lay on bed, cry, feel guilty, and not have the courage to face the world because the world thinks you are just being lazy! & more fun is when you either sleep continuously for days & not even eat or just eat one meal a day or not sleep at all for couple of more days... & yet have nothing finished. To see all the dishes and dust, and dirty environment, is just the fun you have never ever had! More fun is when you finally get the guts to say okay i'll spend some time outside but then you say whom do you need to impress and you go out in your sports wear, and or clothes that is not been washed and you have not had time to wash your clothes because you were enjoying being lazy! And when people look at you awkwardly because you have no make up, not good hair you just know you are just too awesome you have nothing to do and yet people look at you! Another Awesomeness is when you get inspired to finally work on your daily duties at least and work just a little more to look that you have not slept for so many days you get questions like " Are you going on a date?" "Is something special today?" See the positive side, when you are lazy all day, you feel special even on a regular day. When it is a day to day thing for others it becomes special thing for you! isn't that awesome ?

7. "You're Crazy": Yes! I am! You see how many things go around my head & how many options pop up trying to be positive yet not positive & getting crazy and trying not to think and yet thinking and getting frustrated, trying to live healthy & yet not healthy & feel irritated ? It's rather easy to accept that I'm crazy than having to explain what's going on!

8. "You're hopeless": To finally be able to cancel all the plans to stop your life which just pops up in your mind and yet hoping things might change tomorrow is being hopeless then yes i'm hopeless.

9."You're weak":To not be able to control your emotional changes, mood swings, and not having control over your life is being weak then yes I'm weak.

10."You're always sad": Why not? I'm sick & tired of trying to fight over this stupid thing and Its not fun! But let me tell you, When I am good and in better state I do have people come to me and say you are so much fun to be around so I know I am not all negative, & I'm not always sad.

I'm struggling, suffering, & I have low self esteem once in a while but Every cloud has its silver lining! I give up on lots of things because I'm not being of help to them or to myself! Not just because I just don't want to & I'm not selfish for that because I think of others too and I feel bad that my situation is giving problem to everyone who is related to me!

But still if you think its kinda publicity stunt & because I love this drama/ attention then Thank you very much for your concern but I want to be with positive people & I am trying to seek more help every time I post about my depression.  I hope some positive people would know about it, read even the unnecessary details and help me get rid of this situation. When positive people get to know about my situation they do try and suggest different ideas to help through! Of course it is difficult for me to do everything they suggest and just get fine in a snap! but I'm trying! However, if me & my tantrums bothers you that much,feel free to leave my life you are not bounded in anyways! At this point of my life all That I wish for is feeling good myself, be cured, get some peace and be in the positive environment

I understand not every person who says i understand, understand however I appreciate each of their effort to help me feel better. But if you are tired of helping me & you help because you feel your are bounded to do so, you don't have to. It is a free world and you don't have to do it! because, I completely understand that its not helping you nor is it helping me!

Also I feel that help should be free will not because you have to help or you are bound to! If you can't help don't make it worst! The world does not revolve around me but again at this point me, myself, my healthy life & its stability is all that matters!

I'm sorry for losing my control over myself & I'm sorry for the inconvenience that I might have caused because of my situation but i'm not sorry That i'm depressed! It's not my choice to be depressed! Help if you can, don't worsen it if you can't!