Why learning the art of saying "No !" is Important ?

If there is a problem or something you are disliking, be honest, and say “no”. “No” is a negative term, but if you can master the art of politely saying “no, thanks”, it will be better for both you and your people. Remember, individuals are not emotionally attached to you, so they would prefer honesty over dishonesty. A review by Harvard Business found that part of success lies in saying “no”. It is believed that people who always say “yes” to everything are either afraid to say “no”, or not sure of what they want. And these kind of people usually don’t succeed in life.

The above highlighted paragraph is copied from the 

Well ! found the above paragraph, in the internet. And I felt like it's worth sharing. Because, we were taught to say Yes to everything, see the brighter side, take the challenge and say Yes. Or saying No would be a disrespect, and ........ the lecture goes on. But, I just feel that I am inviting myself a problem by not saying No, thinking that would be disrespect. But, To give, I have to be capable enough to be able to give. So if I'm not capable enough to give and if I say Yes to give, how am I going to give. I am inviting myself a problem by accepting to give. :) :P 

Won't Saying "YES" To everything will make our life like a robot who is programmed to say Yes. Suppose life asks you a question "Do you want to die?" The answer could be No, but if you are programmed to say Yes! Opps.. .But "do you want to die?" , Of course, Not. But you were never taught to say no, so what would you do now say Yes which you don't want.

Now, Why am I focusing in this "Yes/No" is because, in our society, a child who is satisfied with whatever is given is considered a good child and a child who is never satisfied a bad child. I read it somewhere as a suggestion. "Accept whatever is given"  Why? Why not be rebellious, Why consider a rebellious child bad and a child who is okay with everything a good. When a rebellious child have more probability of bringing the change, and be successful and a satisfied child has more chances of getting the failure in life.  Okay I'm not saying a rebellious child will be successful and an okay child will be a failure, but given a situation where both the child have just faced a failure, a child considered rebellious might not accept it and fight against the situation where as a child who is okay with everything might just accept whatever situation he or she is in and accept the failure and become a failure. 

As the writer of the copied para says it, saying no is an art, teach that art in the childhood. It is a very important lesson in life. 

Being a "Buddhist by birth" there were many such misconceptions which I tried to follow as the lessons of Buddha but they failed. Now trying to Become a Buddhist by nature, I now feel that its not about the quotes its abt using your buddhi (wisdom), the proper usage of the Brain. As the buddha says it himself "Don't accept the words, even if I said so until you truly believe it from your wisdom(Buddhi)". So don't say yes to everything, don't say no to everything, use your Vivek (Buddhi, wisdom), and filter them out. To parents don't be happy if your kid is okay with everything. Teach him to say no along with Yes. Basically, learn and teach to use the so-called "brain" that we have by birth.

P.S. These are my thoughts, my views, from what I'v seen in my surrounding. What's your view? Do you think saying no is the art? Do share your views. Any kind of suggestions is always welcome. Thank you for your time and thank you for going through my blog :) 

Vinaya Shakya: Is Nepal safe to travel ?

 Is Nepal safe to travel ?: Lot of people from abroad still ask the same questions as follows; after earthquake 25 April. Find out here. 

Lemons for Tonsil

We all know many benefits of Lemon, its detoxing effect being the most renowned. But today i'l be sharing two ways we can use lemon to heal our Tonsils. 

Method 1:

Wash the lemon and cut it into half. Throw out the seeds and squeeze it directly into your mouth and gargle. You must feel relieved soon. If the pain exist even after that do it again with other half may be 12 hours later. You don't want to weaken the enamel in your teeth trying to recover with tonsil. 

Lately i had been suffering with this severe tonsil giving me headaches to pain all over my face and ears and of course my throat. It continued for more than a week but finally my aunt gave me this remedy and my pain is gone. 

Method 2: 

Method 2 is to take 2-3 lemon leaves, wash it and eat it directly just like "paan" .It is also one of the great home remedy for tonsil or when we have swollen glands and gums. I don't know if it has other side effects though.  

I am not the expert but it worked to me when i was suffering from tonsil. Hence i thought of sharing with you all But if you are not sure of trying it you should better see a doctor However if you are some one who'd rather try a home remedy try this. All the best ;) 

HOLI

Its very bad to hear from a teenage boy that Holi won't be fun without girls or there are no female members around to play Holi so its going to be boring. Or balloons/ (lola)  are to be hit just to females! When I heard this, I was like "This is wrong, very wrong concept". And it was not just him many brothers in the social networking sites updated "Holi is boring cause they could not hit lola to girls ". I exactly knew where he learnt from so i was kind of feeling guilty for being a member of the society where Holi is supposed to be fun when hitting the girls or ladies! I felt a little guilty because someway somehow our brothers are learning the wrong concept from our society. And we are not noticing this or we are not being able to prevent this. 

I remember being attacked with the color bombs while i was returning from school by a guy. He was with a group of friends and he was our neighboring friend so at that age i was like i will take the revenge with you on that day "The Holi" day but then today i feel like even my brothers who were almost of same age were never attacked before Holi. I too remember my cousin sister sharing her experience being attacked by group of guys around her area and how she felt so embarrassed being all wet from top to bottom and she could do nothing at that age.

 I had always loved Holi and I grew up playing Holi with my brothers but after my school it was not that easy. "Now you are grown up. Don't act like kid . Have you seen the sisters around your neighbor come and play Holi" And I was like they might not like or it might be that they were also not allowed to come and play Holi. But today I know why, why was there so much of restrictions. Because we have this society where hitting a girl with lola is fun, where Holi won't be fun without a girl. And my parents concern were not wrong. 

I have also heard Holi is fun near by Basantapur area especially for boys because there are foreign girls playing Holi. Again fun because girls are there huh! So Holi fun! because of girls? Or because of the colors ? I have cried many Holi's cause I did not had friend to play Holi or I could not play Holi as much as my friends or brothers.  And when i see in TV there are both females and males playing Holi and having fun. I was discussing with a friend like how come few girls still manage to go out there in the mass and have the fun and  I was amused by the answer. The answer was " The girls who go and play Holi with the strangers are characterless!" And I had a big fight " A guy can play Holi with strangers and a girl can't or she will be characterless is this what our society teach us ? I bet a lot differ with this answer and would not accept it now but there are people in this society who think that way and that is what they are transferring to our younger generation. 

And yes to prove that concept wrong in one of the Holi I went to play Holi out with my girl friend in my scooty and played Holi with strangers and we were not abused we had healthy Holi and we came back home sound and safe. Not every guy out there come to play Holi with this concept, and not every girl who go out and play Holi are bad. 

My main point is wishing to play Holi does not make a girl characterless but thinking that Holi is fun because of girls do make you characterless. Lets keep an eye on what our younger generations are learning from our society. And possibly change the views of those who are building the wrong concept. Lets promote the colors of Happiness. Happy Holi !

Karma

I was reading a post on "Karma" which basically mean your results are based on your karma! Sooner or Later! And my karma gave me a simple example yesterday evening! I was out of fuel so i was on my way to the petrol station A. half aged women rushed and over took me . I almost lost my balance when she overtook me But I was like "Okay! may be she really is in a rush. " I saw there was a long queue and i saw the women, she was still in rush. She also over took other guy. Soon other people started feeling like she's been cutting lines of others and trying to go forward as if only she was in rush. This is very common thing, everyone is in rush but then I wanted to experiment with my study. I was like if Karma really works like that then she must get her chance to fill her fuel only after me even though em behind her :P Let's see if her Karma punishes her. ;) i was just testing her Karma and guess What? Her karma did punish her ! When it was her turn the army in Bhadrakali petrol station asked me to come forward as well along with her as we both had scooty. And we both opened our tank almost the same time. But even though she was ahead of me in the line, i got the chance to refill my tank before her :P and i was like Okay this is true! So From now onward i'l try my best to do good and leave the rest to Karma ;) Do good and Leave the rest to Karma ;) :D I'm sorry ( the lady) if by any chance you are reading this. I was just experimenting ;) 
- Uppalavanna